Books vs. Life

"The aged women likewise,

that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,

not false accusers, not given to much wine,

teachers of good things;

that they may write many books recounting their wisdom

on subjects including soberness, loving husbands, loving children,

discretion, chastity, keeping at home, goodness,

obedience to their own husbands;

hoping that floundering, lonely young women

will decide to buy and read their book."

So Titus 2 doesn't say exactly that. How often in the Bible were men or women encouraged to write something down? Deuteronomy 6 does not instruct fathers to hand textbooks to their children. Jesus does not say, "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples: that you write great books about Christian living."

I am, it must be said, a reader. When I read something, I generally understand it. Words engage my mind. Throughout school I learned math, history, science, and most other subjects through reading textbooks. That the Bible is written is significant. God inspired words, lasting through time, to communicate His love and redemption to men.

For Christians, though, our words are not always so impacting as our lives. And our lives can be much less significant if we are not engaged in relationships. God made people to learn from example and to grow from companionship. When people are willing to invest in my life, their opinions matter; their decisions guide mine. What does it say in Titus and Deuteronomy?

Titus 2:3-5

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,

not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

that they may teach the young women to be sober,

to love their husbands, to love their children,

to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,

good, obedient to their own husbands,

that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Deuteronomy 6:6-9

"And these words, which I command thee this day,

shall be in thine heart:

and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,

and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,

and when thou walkest by the way,

and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand,

and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates."

Pastors are encouraged to lead by example:

1 Timothy 4:12-13

"Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers,

in word, in conversation, in charity,

in spirit, in faith, in purity.

Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine."

1 Peter 5:3

"Neither as being lords over God's heritage,

but being ensamples to the flock."

The books about courtship and being content, godly young women are some of my favorites. I devour them. Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot especially has helped me spiritually to focus on God as I mature. But!

But our churches ignore these topics. Whether they think women can just read the book, or if the male leadership does not know how girls struggle at certain ages, or if the Church has forgotten the importance of purity and preparing for marriage, I don't know. Since I've been studying the courtship books and singleness messages for a while, reading blogs like YLCF and Solo Femininity for a while, I have thought of writing a book myself. There are a lot of precious ideas and experiences floating around in my mind about how God takes care of His own little girls, and what it takes to trust Him.

Are books the best way to go about reaching the generation of women (men, too, maybe; I don't actually know)? Or could God use me in my church to disciple girls, sisters in preparing for marriage and serving God whatever the circumstances? Could God use me to encourage other, wiser women to become involved in this as well? Deuteronomy gives some of this responsibility to families, to parents. But not all! Titus 2 entrusts the education of Christian women to all older Christian women. And it does not leave out any young women. Those without mothers, or whose mothers are not Christians, or whose mothers are teaching what they can but have many children to teach are included.

Articles have been written about "empty-nester" Christian women. Why shouldn't they go to work? Their children don't need them anymore. They'll just get bored sitting at home all day. Yes, that is what people argue. I argue that the employment God gives us is one from which we can never retire. Pastors cannot retire from caring for or setting examples for their flocks. Women cannot stop teaching younger women by example. Grandmothers must still be keepers at home, lovers of children, obedient to their own husbands. Without them, the young women falter. We are astray in a wilderness of philosophies, pressures, and impulses.

I am contemplating a ministry to admonishing older women to teach younger women, including those who have not yet been found by a husband. Perhaps as I get older myself I will take on this work more seriously.

Here's another "but." Many young women whom I have met are resistant to input on these matters. They look at me, miss ultra-conservative who's never had a boyfriend, and honestly don't want to be me. Taking my advice, then, taking me as an ensample, does not fit their agenda. For this reason I believe God is building my understanding of His word and my confidence of appropriate applications before I teach. No Christian teacher is allowed to teach on their own authority.

"All power is given unto Me in heaven and in earth.

Go ye therefore and teach

all nations, baptizing them in the name

of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

teaching them

to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you:

and, lo, I am with you alway,

even unto the end of the world." - Matthew 28

To God be all glory.

Postscript: The reverse of all these complaints is also true. I am so grateful to the several older women who have truly invested in my life! I won't mention your names just because I'm internet/privacy paranoid, but if you're reading, thank you.