Is there hope?
In case you hadn’t noticed, I am independent and strong-willed. This whole essay is like insider information.
When I was six years old, I knew the facts: 1. I am a sinner. 2. My sin needs punished. 3. Jesus died for my sins on the cross. 4. Believing in Jesus means I am forgiven. Without invitation or companionship, I grabbed a stuffed animal, sat in my little rocking chair, and prayed that Jesus would forgive my sins. I meant it, and Jesus saved me that day. By His grace my strong will was surrendered to Him.
I understand rebellion. There were many times even before I was ten when I weighed my options. If I had wanted to do something wrong, I could endure whatever the punishment would be. To be honest, the punishment was no threat. But I did not do a lot of premeditated disobedience. Why? By God’s grace, I loved people, and didn’t want to disobey my parents or my God.
Strong-willed people do not give up. He perseveres, and continues to be a friend to someone no matter what. Circumstances do not deter him or change his mind. That persistence can be an inspiration to other people. Think of the Poseidon Adventure.
Doesn’t independence lead to wandering away from God? No. The will of a Christian human being can be aligned with God’s. Jesus was not weak-willed. He made himself a living sacrifice (living to die), praying “not My will, but Yours be done.” We can imitate that. Jesus had a will to be denied. This was not mere rhetoric.
What about marriage? Can a strong-willed person enter into the relationship of mutual submission? There are few greater gifts that a person can give than to willingly submit his preferences and will. The Anglican church’s marriage ceremony includes the vow: ‘With my body, I thee worship.’ I don’t mind that idea. It’s the idea of self-sacrifice. And worship isn’t something the worshipers are forced into doing. Their strength enables them to lay down self at the feet of someone else’s will.
This question is particularly relevant in the case of a strong-willed woman, who is called to be a helper to her husband, to submit to him as the head of her household. A strong-willed woman cannot marry a man who will follow her. She wouldn’t respect a man like that enough to marry him. What she really needs is a man who will assert his strength without trying to enslave her. But she might be a follower. If there were a cause big enough, and a leader great enough, she’d be fulfilled in joining that. That’s what her faith in God is. His cause is bigger than her ideas; His strength is greater than hers. So she follows Him. And she loves Him.
Strong-willed people are like lines. They shape the world. If that’s the case, though, the more emotional people color the world. They make it interesting. I’m a lines person. I even eat ice cream inside my mouth (without getting it all over my face). But I just wish the colorful, less strong-willed people would color in the lines. When they don’t follow any predictable rules, interaction is very hard. I’m trying, though.
To God be all glory.
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