One is Better than Two

When I buy cookies, I can't buy two. Every time I do, I burn one.

Paradise Bakery has the best chocolate chip cookies. They stay soft forever, and are just delicious. So why do I want to microwave them before eating? I don't know. I got buy one, get one free before a ladies retreat and took the free cookie with me. At the retreat location I put the cookie (still inside the decorative bag - with ink on it advertising the bakery) into the microwave and set the time for one minute. At home it worked perfectly. I promise.

When I came back to the horrifying smell of smoke, it was too late. My cookie was smoking, and couldn't be eaten (obviously). The entire night the retreat center smelled like burnt popcorn (associated with the paper packaging more than the food?). It was so embarassing.

But I don't learn. Tuesday at Safeway I bought two cookies for 98 cents (actually cheaper at regular price than Paradise Bakery, but a lot less yummy). I ate most of one on Tuesday, and the other I decided to improve today by...

... microwaving it. This time I was smart. Thirty seconds in our new microwave on power level six (which is one of those intermediate settings that you're supposed to use for thawing foods if your tastebuds hadn't been accustomed to bland TV-dinner, ultraprocessed foods already and you cared about flavor) rendered the cookie almost perfect, but the chocolate chips were still hard. So I returned the cookie to the spinning plate and set the machine to fifteen seconds on power level seven (this is the canned corn setting at my house, and typically has no other uses. We live in the 8-10 power range). The dessert emerged sizzling, barely transferrable on its almost penetrated napkin. After cooling about fifteen minutes I bit into a carmelized sort of cookie, and gave up on the unnecessary parts, nibbling at the chocolate chips and leaving the hardened rest.

Never buy two cookies when you could buy one. Maybe I'll start buying three.

To God be all glory.