Thursday, September 13, 2012

Cry Out

Paper doesn’t tell me. 
Facebook doesn’t know. 
I have all these questions, and just
endlessly writing lists,
or refreshing web pages
doesn’t bring me to the answers. 
“Please, please, just speak to me, YHWH.”

I’m waiting on God,
thinking in circles,
praying on my knees again
and again. 
My fists are almost always clenched,
every ounce of me waiting
and wanting so badly to just
get beyond where I am. 
“How could You do this, Lord?”

I think somehow if
I get past this one thing,
that I’ll be able to breathe
once more. 
But what if it is just moving on
into something harder? 
“You freely gave me your Son…”

After a long day I lay down
and concentrate on breathing:
deep breaths,
living here
and now,
knowing that God has promised
this struggle will not be for eternity. 
“You have known the end from the beginning.”

I’m weak and
He knows it. 
His mercy gives
just enough grace to endure,
doesn’t remove sorrow
or trouble
or the call to do
the hardest of things.
To those who hope,
God draws near.
“Father, enfold me in Your love.”

To God be all glory.