Choice and Romanticism

Quaker Wedding
“Love is a choice.” The first time I heard that I recoiled. Initially my romantically trained, fairy-tale fed imagination failed to provide any circumstance under which a choice-love could be satisfactory. What about starry moments, and love’s first kiss, and that breathless moment when you don’t just know or decide you’re in love; you feel it in the depth of your being?

Again my romanticism was being refined, sheared of its secular, humanistic trappings and built up strong and more penetratingly captivating than ever by the gentle, beneficent truth of God.

No one would ever accuse Elizabeth Bennett of being unromantic, she who in the movie (do I even have to say which version I mean?) swore, “I am determined nothing but the very deepest love will induce me into matrimony;” who could never dream of marrying simply to secure her own comfort. Oft lost among the multitude of offenses described in her rejection of Mr. Darcy’s marriage proposal, we find this stinging quote, “I might wonder why with so evident a design to offend and insult me you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will…”

A generation of passionate Americans believed that they usually loved against their will, that they “fell” in love, as though it were a snare or an unstoppable force like gravity. In his book, Family Driven Faith, which I am presently reading, Voddie Baucham writes, “What value is there in being told that someone is with you because they can’t help it?”

No wonder there is so much divorce. Not only did men and women get married because they believed it was simply the next step in falling in love; many who ended up getting divorced never experienced true love, the kind that cannot come without choice, at all. Imagine their emptiness. Without being able to express it, so many couples were internalizing the kind of offense that so rebuffed Elizabeth. She would no more commit to a marriage in which she was unvalued as one in which she was unloved. The two went together. Thus the ease with which she expected Mr. Darcy to recover.

At the happy conclusion of Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Darcy recognizes that Elizabeth had thought him “devoid of every proper feeling.” Through his intentional demonstration of love, and not just love, but charity, he finally won her heart. He learned his lesson and came to her now not begging her to put him out of his misery by consenting to be his wife, but confessing how dear she was to him, and how much he valued her. No romantic I know finds the first proposal better than the last, or represses their sighing heart when at the end Mr. and Mrs. Darcy enter into a life of relationship and “mutual help,” as the vows say.

Love is more romantic, and more importantly, has meaning, kindness, and value in being a choice.

To God be all glory.

Adjectives

Today at work I have my hair up in what looks like regular prom finery. A bun high on my head, the hair from which it’s gathered loosely poofing around my face and dangling the occasional curly strand – all that’s lacking is some shimmering tiara or woven jewels. Except I didn’t work that hard on my hair. To confess, I bent over, combed my wet hair with my fingers over the top of my head, grabbed it all near the crown of my head, began to twist, stood upright, kept twisting and coiling, had the whole thing almost done, untwisted the base a bit, and hair-clipped it in place, pushing extra poofiness forward a bit. The rest of the dramatic curls and strands resulted from sleeping on the style.

Being incredibly bored this morning, I began to wonder whether my hair matched my rule for hairstyles: does it make me look beautiful? Ok, so it’s a really lax rule. Anyway, I tried to remember my reflection this morning. It was presentable, not ridiculous, looked nice. I didn’t rebel at my image in the mirror, so I guess it’s all right.

Think about it. Beautiful. Presentable. Appropriate. Not everything beautiful is presentable, or vice versa. The way my hair looks is maybe not even appropriate: if I were costuming the role of receptionist, her hair would be done tighter, and less dramatically. But then I don’t always look my part. I don’t look any expected part.

Do you ever have trouble coming up with adjectives? In English we are simply lacking in words to say some things. For example, I was trying to describe the mood of each track on my three Lord of the Rings Soundtrack CD’s for my Windows Media Player. I hope to have a mood category for almost every song on my computer so I can play similar music. Playlists are often inadequate. I usually compile them by lyrical content. What about when I need movement music? Or crying sounds? Anyway, I ran into difficulty describing At the Sign of the Prancing Pony, a track that reminds me of firesides. There is not an adjective for that, so I called it Fireside, and am properly delighted with the title, which I proceeded to apply to a few other tracks on the CD.

Again at the end of the Fellowship of the Ring, we have this music that blends the thoughts of travel, there and back again, endurance, rest, rivers, and climbing. What word can possibly contain all of that? Maybe that’s why we don’t say it; we write the feelings into music. The word I chose was Journey, a word that inspires me while always falling short of all that it means. I believe the literal translation has something to do with a day’s accomplishment, and the music was talking about a lifetime or a world-history of wanderings. I know another song to be classified here, one titled simply Meditation #4 Selah, by Michael Card. Drawing from the melody to which he put the 23rd Psalm, I have fallen asleep many nights with this song playing rivers falling from the hills into my dreams.

But think how many words we have to express our varied reactions to appearances of people: beautiful, pretty, attractive, stunning, dashing, fine, lovely, presentable, handsome, smart, elegant, graceful, gorgeous, striking, cute, charming, ravishing, fair… I’m sure there are more, and that’s just on the good side. Not only do these words have common-use meanings, but their roots communicate the impulses or feelings experienced by the observer; or maybe a comparison; or ultimately, an absolute (like beauty). We are not cursed with paltry words for this need as we are for others.

Why is that?

To God be all glory.

How to Read My Blog

Stack of Old Hardcover Books
My brother informs me that reading my blog is hard because I concentrate my posting all in one day. He then reads or skims all the posts at once and two hours later decides he doesn't have time to comment. So here is my suggestion/confession.

I can only blog so much per week. If I am posting a lot in one day, blogging is off my conscience for the next few days, so you have a chance to catch up. The reason I blog all at once is because the effort of logging on to blogger, formatting, and publishing is time-consuming. Doing it all at once is more efficient. Trust me, I am well aware that bloggers attract more visitors by blogging on a consistent schedule. But my life does not revolve around blogging, so I do it this way. I hope you'll still read, and comment, but feel free to do it at your own pace.

If you have questions or suggestions for me (or my brother!) feel free to... comment.

To God be all glory.

All Posters

I learned something new this week: you can blog pictures from Allposters. It's one of their "free services," and they even give you the HTML! What you do is search for the topic of which you want an image. Find one you want. Click on it and scroll down almost to the bottom of the page where you'll read a link that says "Blog this image." Click the link. Copy the HTML. Insert into your blog. It automatically includes a link to Allposters so that they get credit for the image.

Thanks to Lady Lydia at Homeliving Helper - who has done this for a long time - for the inspiration.

To God be all glory.

The Love Nerve

A Happy Female Holds up Her Diamond Engagement Ring

Last week in Awana we learned a trivial fact: Romans began the custom of putting a wedding or engagement ring on the third finger of the left hand because they believed a nerve went from there to the heart. I'm not sure about nerves leading to the heart, but they definitely go up the arm like they said. I discovered this on Friday night when I smashed the third finger of my right hand in the door from the garage to the house. Actually that should be passive. My finger was doing nothing, minding its own business, when the cruel spring-loaded door swung back to attack it. The point is, I got shooting pains running from the tip of that finger up my arm towards my heart. Except it never made it to my heart. The pain was horrible, and googling treatment for smashed fingers was almost torture, even without images, because of all the traumatic household injuries described on the websites. I'm told Tea Tree Oil relieves the pain right away, but I didn't have any. Walmart didn't have any on shelf today either, so I may never know.

To God be all glory.

Word Confusion

Hair is rumpled, not ruffled. Sheets can be either one. Can you imagine what ruffled hair would look like?

To God be all glory.

G.K. Chesterton

He's a genius for expression. From the website linked above, he wrote unparalelled "good essays - all of them – as funny as they are serious, and as readable and rewarding a century after you’ve written them." He wrote a series of mysteries about a man named Father Brown. Similar to CS Lewis in his philosophical insight into the future, and analyzations of reason and politics and social trends, G.K. Chesterton added to his appeal by writing with almost melodic rhythm. He was also, as you might expect, a poet.

All my favorite authors were also something else. They didn't just sit around writing books. They were missionaries, or serious students of literature, words, history, or theology. You can't get good books if that's all you do. You need interaction with the real world to make your thoughts relevant. I fear this was Shakespeare's lack.

The one thing I don't understand is how he could so dislike protestants. Gilbert Keith Chesterton was a staunch Catholic, whose book, Orthodoxy, included almost entirely doctrines that were common ground between Catholics and Protestants. I believe he was saved, based on what I read of his theology. C.S. Lewis was saved as a result of Chesterton's writing.

Chesterton was a historian and biographer as well. What's more, he was human. He laughed, and interacted, missed trains, smoked cigars. He wore glasses. Instead of college he went to art school. Is there a better manifestation of someone who lived life to the hilt?

Look into his writings. Use the link above. It has quotes, selections, and biographies. Use your library. If you find a book by Chesterton for sale, buy it. You won't regret the purchase.

To God be all glory.

Pigfest

Mixed Breed Piglets in Apple Cart

Since I was little, I have loved debate. Even if the debate is not particularly about arguing or winning. What appeals to me is discussing interesting topics in an intellectual manner. You learn. You're challenged. And you really get to know people: what they believe, whether they are geniuses, how they think, and how they communicate.

That's why, long ago when I first encountered Pigfests, I was excited. This is my kind of thing. I like to read about them, but I'd rather do them. My problem is that I don't know a lot of people willing to invest the time in a Pigfest with me. I can't figure out why the people I know don't read blogs, don't write letters, don't debate, don't sew, don't style long hair... Some do, but not enough to get a group together for this.

Whenever I go on retreats through church, I dream of weekend-long Pigfests, interrupted only long enough to sleep, to sing, to pray, and to put in the bites of food. My dreams are usually disappointed. There are other things accomplished there, probably what should be accomplished. It's ok. I just keep longing for the Pigfest.

Now I know you're all sitting there, reading, and wondering when I'm going to get around to explaining what a Pigfest is and how it got its name. Sorry. Not going to. First, you could click on the link. Usually I put links in for a reason. Second, you could Google it. Google answers everything. Third, you could comment and ask me, or talk to me when you see me next. That way I'm more likely to drag you into my first hosting of a Pigfest.

The plan, forming in my fingers as I type, is to celebrate my birthday in December with a Do-Something Weekend. Included will be some sort of political or social involvement project, a showing of Amazing Grace, and a long Pigfest, including some simple food, like Pizza. I love Pizza almost as much as Pigfests.

If you are a distant reader, maybe I'll host a Pigfest in the comment section here for my birthday. If that is the case, I'll start then by explaining what a Pigfest is. So there is option four. You can keep reading my blog until December, when I'll tell you the coveted definition.

To God be all glory.

Information Battle

An American Humvee Drives Through the Desert at Sunset Near the Iraqi Border
As I understand it, the US government does not often release data on the number of enemies killed or captured in its Iraq war. The media makes sure we know how many US soldiers and citizens are casualties of the war, and gives an estimate of the deaths among Iraqi civilians. These deaths are most often inflicted by terrorists - yes, terrorists, al-Qaeda or otherwise, who use car bombs and guns and regularly attack innocents as a way of getting at our weak-bellied American resolve.

This week, we have some statistics:

Over the weekend, U.S. and Iraqi forces killed more than 60 insurgent and militia fighters
No Iraqi civilians or U.S. soldiers were hurt.

Iraqi soldiers had killed 44 "terrorists" over the past 24 hours (Sunday).
It said 52 fighters were arrested altogether.

Just a bit of encouragement. Also, the number of civilian and US casualties in Iraq is down by about 50% this month from last. The number is still near a thousand in September, which is tragic. But it is war. The ever-present knowledge of mortality might be what is contributing to the massive interest in Christianity in the Middle East, as widely reported by Christian missions agencies.

To God be all glory.

Mike Huckabee

The beginning of summer, 2007, I was tired of politics. How on earth could anyone be supporting a presidential candidate before you even knew anything about them, or who was running? I did some analyses of candidates early on (McCain, Giuliani, Romney), but eventually decided that until they were willing to make up their minds on topics, I'd not decide who to support. There can be a benefit to paying attention early, certainly, so that you know how much support they had early on, weird things they said, and issues in which their position flipped.

Now I have to accept that primaries are drawing near. The autumn drive to do something has come, more powerful at times than spring fever. Campaigning is on. Most of the candidates who will announce have announced, and those who are still on the fence are well-known enough to allow me to decide.



Let me tell you the main factors by which I made my decision:

1. Are they anti-abortion? Do their values allign with mine?


2. Are they Christian? What kind of role does their faith play? Are they sincere?


3. What is their fiscal/tax policy?


4. Are they sane enough to understand the necessity for an international war on terror that does not involve surrender?


5. Have they read the Constitution?


6. Are they good speakers?


7. Do they have executive governing skills, or would their services be better geared to legislative, judicial, or activist fields?


8. (I confess:) Do they have enough support to potentially win?

Though the last point still has me worried, I have come to a decision. Those most likely to win the Republican nomination are unacceptable to me, so I might as well do what I can, take responsibility, and promote a candidate whom I support. The man is Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas. Almost a direct opposite to another governor of Arkansas who became President, Huckabee has been married to his wife since she graduated high school. They have three kids. She's involved in community service on a massive level. Through potentially crippling cancer early in their marriage, Huckabee stuck by her. As governor, he cut taxes and worked with a Democrat-controlled legislature to pass pro-family, fiscally-responsible reforms in his state.



I've heard him speak, especially at the Values Voter debate which Jesse and Crystal live-blogged for us all. His rhetoric is good in content and presentation. He's winning, clear, and can get a lot of well-thought ideas into a short alotment of time.



His stands on the afore-listed Longbourn Litmus Test:

1. He is anti-aborition, in fact originally beginning political involvement to combat abortion (legalized by Roe v. Wade within a decade of his high school graduation). I don't like his statement, "With respect to stem cells, I support federal funding of research using existing stem cell lines," because of more fiscal/constitutional reasons, that the Constitution makes it illegal to support even medical research with federal money. That's not why the federal government exists. In other values, he is right on, in no way supporting civil unions or the redefinition of marriage. He is a promoter of school choice.


2. Former Governor Huckabee is also a former pastor in a Baptist church, and remains active in his church. He has a statement declaring that his faith will affect his decisions, because it is part of who he is.


3. Fiscally, as I said, he is too much willing to use federal money on unconstitutional programs. However, his Fair Tax and healthcare ("It is time to recognize that jobs don't need health care, people do, and move from employer-based to consumer-based health care.") proposals make excellent and well-received economic sense.


4. Contary to a popular campaign position that says all we need to do is leave Iraq, Huckabee understands the global war that has been and is repeatedly being declared against the US. He has extensive statements on his plans for winning in Iraq and the world.


5. Hm. He seems to know that states have rights, probably from his governor days. Huckabee supports the Second Amendment, and believes in a Constitutional Amendment on the Right to Life. I wish he had read the Federalist Papers, too. Then again, our country is not ready for a revolutionary return to the strict boundaries set by the constitution. This candidate would be a huge step in the right direction.


6. He is a good speaker, as I said above.


7. Among the Republican Presidential Candidates, there are not many who really have the wide perspective and skills required to lead such an amazing nation as the fifty United States of America. To be commander in chief, a world figure, a leader of the American people, a political driver, and policy head, while still maintaining any sense of coherence, let alone values, is a huge job. Single-issue men or those who talk constantly of laws are not qualified to be president. Huckabee has been a governor, what's more a unique governor, uniting legislatures and the voting public to common goals. With the political reality in Washington, D.C. that the next president will almost certainly face, such experienced and successful leadership is a must.


8. Polls are showing remarkable support for a man who is not widely covered by the media or even supported by the major conservative talkshow hosts I listen to. Loyal New Yorker Sean Hannity is throwing his support so far behind socially-liberal Giuliani. Hugh Hewitt likes Romney. Others have been excited about Fred Thompson. None of those men has strong Christian faith and consistent social values. The people of America want answers and sincerity. They need leadership. The conservatives are tired of their elected leaders compromising, betraying their base, or not getting anything done. Huckabee is the solution.

I encourage you to do two things:



1. Go to Huckabee's website and read his statements on the Issues. Also check out the Blog, which has a late-September entry on Huckabee's position on Foreign Policy.



2. Watch the Values Voter Debate. Analyze the candidates there. Analyze those who were not present, what their answers would have been, and why they didn't come. Which candidates are presidential material?



Even if you are not of voting age, you can have an influence on your parents and friends. At least get them to think about the issues raised here!



I am also willing to take challenges, questions, or suggestions about other candidates in the comment section. If this post or the links have made you think, speak up!



To God be all glory.