Thursday, December 04, 2008

Why Doesn't My Computer Know Who's Boss?

And here all this time I thought my computer was my tool, serving me, doing as I told it. But like a rebellious teenager, it thinks itself smarter than me, stronger, and more willful. If it just puts off my instructions long enough, while it does its own thing, maybe just maybe bossy owner of laptop will go away and leave it alone.

Alone to do what, you ask (as do the parents of metaphorical teenagers). It might just want to be lazy. The battery has already decided to barely do its job, as long as constantly fed energy from a wall. Half the time my computer isn’t doing what I said, it doesn’t seem to be doing anything.

I’ve tried all the things I can think of: defrag, updates, restarting my computer, adjusting my internet connection, scanning for spy-, ad-, or mal- ware, running Windows Task Manager to see if my computer will give up the secret obsession its hard drive has with unauthorized activity.

Aside from being slow, online or offline, the other really annoying thing is that in the midst of its procrastination, I may switch to another window. Exactly when I am most engrossed in reading or typing or filling out important online forms with passwords, the slow-loading window superimposes itself on my screen, interrupting and even hijacking any keyboard or mouse input. What on earth is it thinking?

My brother says the next big thing to be invented on a computer is a button that suspends the activity. See, for some reason we both think that we should be able to tell an internet page to stop loading if it’s so long it’s virtually frozen. But being frozen, the whole window, including the stop button, is also frozen.

Is my problem my web browser? Am I suffering from hardware? My computer reports that it has plenty of memory and spends most of its thought on ‘idle processes.’ Maybe my wireless modem and my laptop are not getting along. I’m certainly not getting along with this self-absorbed block of technology.

Perhaps my problem is software? I could have the wrong browser, the wrong network connections driver, something amiss in my security software, or even windows itself.

My dad taught me to be loyal to PC’s, and I still hate Mac’s (do they have a thing for treating intelligent people who just want to word process and blog like children with cute bubbles and code names for basic functions?). Is there a better option for me? What’s Linux about? Do I have to be a nerd to use or appreciate it? Did I just prove I’m not a nerd by spelling it wrong? Does everyone have these sorts of difficulties?

(Dad works at a helpdesk, and often brings home stories of silly customers who had no idea what they’d done to their computers. Not so with us. Our computers produce the hardest of brainteasers to our expert sleuthing father. We only have hard questions for him about our computer difficulties.)

Any hints? Commiseration? Solutions? Recommendations?

To God be all glory.

1 comment:

Dr. Paleo Ph.D. said...

Computers have a mind of their own and wish to destroy mankind. The end.