Sunday, August 22, 2010

Courtship Roadtrip

My brother called yesterday.  He is a Marine finishing up training in Virginia.  And he’s had a lot of time to think the last few months.  His conclusion is that I am jinxing the rest of the family.  Because I, the oldest, am not married, none of the rest of my brothers and sisters have a chance. 

The truth is, I’m not avoiding marriage.  I believe I’m doing everything I can do.  There are still some questions about whether I should do things differently: Talk more or talk less?  Wear more skirts or fewer?  Use makeup or not?  My (single) best friend and I read a book a while back called “Get Married,” which suggested that single women be very careful not to throw away the interest of a good man.  We were comparing notes recently and wondering whether there really are girls who get that chance!  Anyway, on the major things, I’m doing what I can.  I don’t hide.  I am friendly.  I speak to men.  I let it be known that I want to get married.  I prepare to be a good wife. 

A lot of my friends are on the lookout for a good husband for me.  “When did this plan start?” brother Marine asked.  I shrugged and told him that when my friends ask how to pray for me, I tell them that I want to be married.  They get the idea.  Several of them tell me, “I wish I knew a man to introduce you to.”  During the past year or so, I have gotten about a half dozen suggestions of potential mates, thanks to my helpful friends.  Unfortunately, they all live out of state.  That fact inspired my brother’s plan.

It’s something like how high school students are choosing colleges.  They load up the car, bring their dad along, and travel the country side visiting the schools on their short list.  This is the Courting Roadtrip

You gather from your helpful friends the names and addresses of every out-of-state man they have suggested you may be destined for.  Plot them on a map and work out a route.  Show up at each door and say, “I’m Lisa.  Hear you’re looking for a wife!”  Then you try to get to know them and let them get to know you, before you move on to the next victim of matchmaking.  I think you might have to do some explaining to the poor unsuspecting men.  I’d say to have your friends call and warn them, but that might take them off your list of “potentials” too quickly. 

All in all, my brother’s plan sounds a bit more aggressive than my personality, and I don’t want to give false first impressions.  So I might just wait this out.  Actually I don’t mind if a single man takes a Courtship Roadtrip.  (Without the startling introduction, “Hear you’re looking for a husband!”)  Go find a wife.  That’s what I say. 

The truth is I believe in responding.  I believe in being pursued by a man, not the other way around.  I believe I’m waiting on God and His timing for this.  My younger siblings aren’t really bound by my singleness.  They’re waiting on God’s timing, too.  Knowing that, it is all the more important that I wait well, setting them a good example, at the same time being honest with them about how hard it is.  Meanwhile, we're laughing a lot.

To God be all glory.

6 comments:

*twins* said...

I'm all for it if it includes NC...you'd come visit me even though I have no potential candidates, right? =)

Hannah said...

Thanks for this! It is the same in my family. I'm the oldest and none of us are married yet though we dearly want to be. It's nice to know I'm not alone. It was a blessing to be able to laugh about it. Thank you!

Lisa of Longbourn said...

You're welcome, Hannah. It does help to laugh about such things. =) And to know that God has a plan. When anyone asks why I'm not married, or tells me to get married, I ask them to take it up with God. I really believe the timing is His.

To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn

åslaug abigail said...

Yeah, my very good friend and unofficially adopted sister asked me why I wasn't married yet, and I told her to bring it up with my husband, since the first move was his... That was one year ago, and my-soon-to-be-husband is her brother, and we're getting married as soon as we can (he's American, I need a visa to go to America) =)

Laughter is a powerful tool, it makes worries and fear and self-pity flee.

The courtship roadtrip, wasn't a bad idea =) =) for guys that is =) God has His own perfect timing, and when you look back, it's easier to see how perfect it really is.

You'll be a blessing to your husband, whoever he is, that's for sure!

Soli Deo Gloria

Lisa of Longbourn said...

Aslaug,
Thank you for your comment and encouragement.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

To God be all glory,
Lisa of Longbourn

Nicole said...

I love this post Lisa. I've had many of the same thoughts and feelings...how can I be more appealing, talk more, less, makeup...all the same questions. I've uttered the same words "take it up with God" when asked why I'm still single.
While the Lord has blessed me beyond words in contented singleness, at times when I'm not trusting His will & timing I confess I start to get anxious and worry. If His will is that I remain single, I trust He'll give me the grace and ability to live for His glory as a unmarried woman.
Lord willing He'll prepare and purpose someone for each of us in His time. A godly man who will pursue us and long to walk the journey of faith and life together. If not, we'll just cling to and rest in our Perfect Bridegroom. Praying for you my sister in Christ. I anticipate great things for you.