Whom are You Willing to Marry?

I know that many young women would be fascinated by a title like this. Is it a list, guidelines, or admonitions against settling for an unworthy young man?

Actually, when I was writing my post on The Good Life, I had a thought. One advantage, seemingly, to being a self-sufficient farmer is that you get to be around your family, in fact working at your family's side, all day. Your wife makes your lunch and you can come in for meals, even if you spend your day plowing or walking your goat. Then I thought that many women I have met have commented - when their husband was on vacation, retired, got laid off, or was injured - that they drove each other crazy. They love each other, enjoy each other's company during the limited times in the evening and on weekends when he is not at work, but if the situation is full time, there is a break down.

As a single woman with slightly rose-tinted glasses, I can't speculate on why they don't enjoy each other's company for long periods of time. Is that good or bad? I don't even know. Probably God made men to work, and women ought not expect husbands to behave like (or listen to them like) a good female friend. But I had a thought.

How many men or women, when considering marriage, if they asked themselves: "Could I spend nearly every waking hour with this person for the rest of my life?" would say yes? Some couples very smitten with love would dreamily say yes. Some may even be able to seriously say yes. But how many would say, "That's not what I'm signing up for! What are you talking about?" And then if something did happen, or if he did decide to keep a job that had him home, what would they do?

In the interest of being real and personal, I'll tell you that I think I could spend a lot of each week with my husband (when I marry him, whoever he will be) because I intend to marry a man who is very interesting and funny and whom I can adore and tease and consult. In fact, I appreciate the marriage of the couple on the show I mentioned. My only objection is their disdain for children. Kids seem unpopular and conveniently non-existent. As God wills, I also plan to have children who will mix up the company if the entire family is at home.

Let me also tell you, not to disappoint the starry-eyed young ladies who are reading this post because of the title, that I am having a dilema I would like to share: Should I try to marry a man who is outgoing and funny and such a leader - or, should he be a quiet, thoughtful, strong leader? I worry sometimes that all the good-humored young men are silly boys with too much past in the area of relationships; and that the only place I will find a strong, principled, faith-filled conservative is in a rigorous, solemn young man who always asks his father's advice (or his mother's) and wears a tie.

The problem, perhaps, is that I do not often meet the incarnation of the character and principles I would like to find in my husband. So imagine being married to a list. Yet God, amazingly enough, I am convinced, has made human men who love Him, rejoice, and still have an incredible faith and dedication to godliness.

As I shrug my shoulders over all of this, I remember that whoever he is, he's out there, and when I know who he is, I'll find out if he is more one type than another. God is in control, and God is so good.

To God be all glory.