Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Truing

Read this post by Pamela. I live like this. Don't forget to come back and finish reading my thoughts, though...

...ok, you read it? A long time ago, for reasons I can no longer remember, I stopped lying. I decided to, and with God's help I did. Not that I had lied all the time. Just whenever those little white temptations came along, I had ammo. I don't lie.

"He that worketh deceit
shall not dwell within my house:
he that telleth lies
shall not tarry in my sight."
~ Psalm 101:7

All this practice not lying has made me sometimes a painfully honest person. I'm not a very open person naturally, unless I'm convinced I can trust you. It is one of my weaknesses. However, if you ask me a question, however personal and however little I think you would like the true answer, I tend to tell the absolute truth. In this way Mr. Darcy is one of the characters in fiction to whom I best relate. As he comments, saying what he means can sometimes cause offense, which is not his intention. Nor mine.

The thing is, giving up lying is easy. Giving up deceit is harder. Telling the truth in love is hardest. In the end we are still sinful, weak humans. How much easier is it to give the impression that you think one thing while you really mean another. But you didn't say a falsehood. Or you run around giving your opinion here, there, and everywhere, with boldness and not grace. The reason you speak is not to build others up but to prove you're right and smart and all that...

Amazing what you learn about yourself when you take a moment to observe. I would never have prefaced a hurtful truth with the facts above: that I'm only trying to build up my image. It was true, though. Now days I'm learning to shun all deceitfulness, for God hates that as much as a lie. As part of the process, I make sarcastic remarks saying exactly the flawed motivation I was using, when I catch myself. "I knew that ten minutes before you," I will say, and realizing, add: "Because obviously I knew everything ten minutes ago..." And then we laugh. Hopefully my friends can recognize this method of self restraint. I need it. Self would take over.

Truth is something of which I can never get enough, though. I miss bold people who will tell me the truth, who will true out my truthiness in search of the truth of my heart. That's the kind of friend I seek to be, as well. You will frequently find me double asking "How are you," for the simple reason that the first answer was "fine."

Ultimately I think honesty makes you a better friend. People who know you know what to expect. You're dependable. And if they're smart, if they don't want to hear anything your answer could be, they won't ask you at all.

"Sanctify them
through thy truth:
thy word is truth."
~ John 17:17

To God be all glory.

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