Tears of the World

My brothers have been dutifully exposed to feminine media (translate: chick-flicks and the books which inspired them). As the oldest sister of six siblings, I have proudly persuaded my two brothers to watch the Jane Austen movies, with more success in some instances than others.

However tonight I am not writing to brag. I am writing to confess. My brothers have not been without their influence on me. The other night I was walking by a table in our house on which sat a luxurious stack of Calvin and Hobbes books. Hours of intoxicating laughter were promised by the mischievous illustrations on the covers. A tiger named Hobbes philosophically addresses the issues of life... A little kid plots against his parents with such innocent sincerity that it is no longer innocence: absurd little doings of a five year old playmate. Calvin is my hero.

There are other things in which I've been indoctrinated. For example, I do not mind an afternoon of football. To say that I multi-task does not detract from the fact that I enjoy the thrill of strategy involved in football. Strategy and big, amazing plays. Football, unlike most other sports, reminds me of war. I mean it isn't violent, like boxing, (violence isn't its reason for being, like hockey). But the strategy! The prospect of being a captain's wife was probably alluring in the old days. He could tell tales of brilliant feats in battle. But pity the poor bored people who only ran and hid in caves. I heard during some wars the civilians would watch from hilltops, though. Now that would be exciting!

My brother wants to be a Marine. If he were old enough, nothing would be stopping him. He already acts like a Marine. His room is papered with recruiting posters. Intimidating (and suprisingly young), grim men hold pieces of metal somehow shaped and put together to maximize killing power in quick, impersonal, and gruesome ways. I admit that the "good guys" of Christian civilizations tend to fight really wicked enemies who are worth defeating.

But I always argue with my brother that I'm sad we don't use swords any more. If one side is using planes and bombs and technology, of course swords aren't very useful. The chivalry of swords is lacking in warriors of today. The personal nobility of defeating an enemy by individual skill and courage and passion is missing. Any weapon that does not require interaction between champions just misses that sense of fairness which makes women cheer. The strategy is removed from footwork and "it's all in the wrist" to grand schematics of boats here and satellites there.

Men who at least know how to use swords and bows have more understanding of chivalry toward women, too. At least I think so. I'm not sure I know any. I just imagine that the study has to also ingrain in them the protection of women and children, of innocent bystanders. The history of knights who used to wield those weapons had to include their dedication to "women and children first," and defending even a woman's honor. Such are willing to give their lives to defend the weak, or the beautiful.

Today a middle-aged family man, a milkman prepared for a siege, marched into a one-room school house in Pennsylvania, and shot little girls execution-style. It's gruesome. My response was, "It's senseless." How could this happen?

Obviously, little girls were not at school alone. The gunman ordered the older people and the males out of the building. And they went. I can't imagine. If anyone threatened my sisters, or the little kids I know at church, there would be no way I would bow to the wave of a gun in my face. Did they think cooperation would save the little girls' lives?

One note I find interesting is that one of the three dead (several more are in critical condition) was a young woman, a teacher's assistant. I imagine she refused to go. Maybe the passion of youth, which some old people tend to mock, inspired the most heroic act of the day. I wonder what happened, and if the fact that she died kept others safe. Maybe her presence helped the other students to be less afraid. I don't know. I just wonder.

As homeschoolers, we like to ignore the world. With three school shootings, all different, all horrible, in one week, I'm definitely tempted to think, "If you'd just keep your kids at home..." No, nothing justifies the tragedies those families are experiencing. I was home through high school, feeling safe. But I cannot ignore the world. I have to consider what opportunities may be opened for sharing the message of redemption. I examine God's cosmic plans and how this extraordinary compression of violent events may contribute. What is happening in the world that the spiritual forces of evil are fighting so hard right now?

I remember the day after September 11, 2001, I was journaling. In one day my problems, my concern for the Bronco's wide receiver Ed McCaffrey whose leg was broken, faded. They were insignificant. Though I would almost prefer to bury my thoughts in comic books or to wallow in the misery of petty struggles, every once in a while the plight of the world breaks through - and breaks my heart.

To God be all glory.